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ZEN & HOT DOGS

So the Zen master steps up to the hot dog cart and says: "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill. The hot dog vendor puts the bill in the cash drawer and closes the drawer. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen master. And the hot dog vendor responds: "Change must come from within." 

TOGETHER WE WILL MESMERIZE THE WORLD
WITH OUR SONG OF PEACE

Wishing to encourage her young son's progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door marked "NO ADMITTANCE."

When the houselights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing." Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child and he added a running obligato. Together, the old master and the young novice transformed a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. And the audience was mesmerized.

Whatever our situation in life and history--however outrageous, however desperate, whatever dry spell of the spirit, whatever dark night of the soul--God is whispering deep within our beings, "Don't quit. Keep playing. You are not alone, Together we will transform the broken patterns into a masterwork of my creative art. Together, we will mesmerize the world with our song of peace."

HOW TO BECOME FOOLY AWARE
Steve Bhaerman

I have long been a supporter of the human potential movement. No matter what I see on the 6:00 news, I still feel we have the potential to be human.

But how do we actually actualize our humanity? How do we humanifest our full potential? Many teachers are telling us that the shift is already taking place. Perhaps you have felt the gears grinding in your own karma. Well, there is no better way to lubricate your transmission than with laughter. That is why so many formerly-serious people have joined the humor in' potential movement and become FUNdamentalists accent on "fun."

Like many of you, I began as a seeker of wisdom. I came of age during the sects revolution, and I explored all kinds of kinky sects. But I never felt fulfilled. I finally saw the light when I woke up one morning with a sugar hangover at a biker crash-pad. I was wearing an orange leather vest and reeked of incense. Yes, I had become a Harley Krishna.

I took a good look at myself in the mirror, and that's when enlightning struck and I found foolfillment. I became fooly-realized the moment I realized that I was a fool and there was nothing to do about it but laugh. And I've been preaching FUNdamentalism ever since.

The Five Fundamentals of FUNdamentalism:

1. Life Is a Joke But God Is Laughing With Us, Not At Us. God is tuned to the Comedy Channel, and we are His Funniest Home Videos. We take turns being comedian and straight man (and yes, a gay woman can be a straight man it happens all the time), so we get the fool spectrum of experience. And we have free choice. We get to choose whether or not we laugh. While we FUNdamentalists are ardently pro-laugh, we are pro-choice as well. We honor every human being's right to not be amused. But I figure, why resist a Farce that is greater than any of us? If life is a sitcom, we might as well sit calm and enjoy it.

2. Fun Is Fundamental. FUNdamentalists believe that life is fundamentally fun that underneath all the stress, distress and negativity, there is an deep well of joy. Each time laughter bubbles up from that well, we experience deep wellness. A fooly-aware person need only look in the mirror to begin laughing. So play to God daily. Surrender to the Farce, and smile ... you're on Candid Karma.

3. A Laugh Track Has Been Provided. The FUNdamentalist scriptures tell us that on the Eighth Day, God saw the world was funny and created Laughter. And since we were humoring Him, He decided to humor us. So He provided a laugh track so we could laugh along. But when things get serious, we lose track of the laugh track. Fortunately, the best way to overcome gravity is with levity. We can use the levitational pull to help us rise above whatever is bringing us down and help us get back on track.

4. We Are Put In the Material World To Get More Material. Spirit is immaterial, so it must materialize to experience anything. Without material existence, there would be nothing to laugh about and no one to do the laughing. We have been given the human jestive system to turn the material of life into laughter. When we laugh, God laughs. And when we laugh with God, we are using the spiritual to heal the material. To be happy in life, you must be able to take a joke. And if you can leave a few as well, all the better.

5. Nonjudgment Day Is At Hand! When a majority of human beings would rather laugh than condemn, we will have an uncritical mass, and this will usher in Nonjudgment Day. On Nonjudgment Day, we will all win beauty contests. Lawyers will disappear, and all our trials will be over. On this glorious day when enlightning strikes, our clown chakras will open, we will become fooly-realized, and we will finally get the joke. The world will stop and everyone will get off. Copyright 1998 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. Courtesy of Swami Beyondananda.

IS THIS THE LAW OF KARMA?

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
    sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn.  Suddenly the pigs, all two
    thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling
    the two hapless protesters to death.

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a
    letter bomb.  It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
    Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

ZEN IS BEYOND WORDS

From: Tord Svenson To: Melhpine Cc: uubf-l@uua.org Subject: The Law Date: Friday, 1 May 1998 22:35 The point of Zen is a special transmission OUTSIDE the sutras. They wanted the Buddha's enlightenment -- all the other attributes were meaningless. Buddha as a LAW GIVER doesn't exist in early Zen. The meaningful masters we find in the history of Zen never speak about right speech. I never found a word of it in the Mumonkan or the Hekiganroku. QUITE THE OPPOSITE! These masters were interested in awakening the aryajnana ( "supreme reason") in their students and they couldn't have cared less about any pain their words might have caused anyone. In fact -- those words were INTENDED to bring forth enlightenment and that birth often was and is -- like our physical birth -- a bloody, painful thing. In the ordinary world we say, "We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse." In Zen, things start worse, we eventually get naked, wet and hungry --then we are born. Was it politically correct "right speech" for Ummon to tell the monk that the Buddha is a shit-stick? That had such an impact on Chinese culture that the good quality shit-sticks later were called "Buddha-sticks". :-) Doesn't anyone study the koans? This is number 21 in the Mumonkan. Buddhism is a religion. Zen is religion, itself -- at least in my humble opinion. Zen is the finger pointing the way -- and that finger doesn't have ANYTHING written on it. "Which are the words of Buddha and which are the words of demons?" "They are ALL words of demons!" -- Tord

LETTING GO

From: Siew-Mun Ang Subject: [dhamma] Letting Go Date: Wednesday, 25 February 1998 22:25 Hi, everybody... In the first stage we let go of evil and start doing good. In the second stage we let go of evil and some forms of good. In the third stage we let go of everything good and evil, because everything is fashioned by nature and thus undependable. We do good but we're not attached to it. When you let go, you have to do it intelligently, and not in a ruinous way -- i.e., by not doing good. You can't hold on even to your opinions, much less to material things. When you do good, you do it for the sake of the living beings of the world, for your children and grandchildren. You do everything in the best way possible, but you're not attached to it, because you know that all things fashioned are inconstant. This way your heart can be clear and bright like a jewel. If you get caught up on praise or blame, you're foolish. It's like drinking other people's saliva. When you act rightly, there are people who will say that you're right and those who will say that you're wrong. When you act wrong, there are people who will say that you're wrong and those who will say that you're right. There's nothing constant about good or evil, right or wrong. ~ Venerable Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo in THE SKILL OF RELEASE. Metta, siew mun

CAROL OMER
a passage from her work in progress

Here is a quote from my novel I am writing. The reluctantly awakening
psychiatrist says:

"It is so easy to allow a little lie her and a little lie there.   Innocent digressions from the Truth.   Call them fibs, render them harmless, until like water on a stone, the innocuous digressions become the thread that weaves the fabric of our denial tightly together, displacing us not only from seemingly inconsequential Truths,...but removing us from the very Essence of who we are"...

The poor psychiatrist is having to face the real-eyesation that analyse = anal+eyes and therapist is in fact the + rapist!!  AND denial is an angram of....AND LIE!!  Be gosh and begorrah...
Phew, poor fella..perhaps I should write a pet cat into the story to assisthim in his quest for Higher Purrpose !!  -- Carol Omer